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Urban Hang Suite Radio

This and every Thursday night at 11PM EST/10PM CST.

Tonight's topic is "The Truth About Cheating" and you know I'm going in.  
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Talk to you tonight.

When It Hurts So Bad!

I was thinking the other day and I must admit it made me laugh. Why is it when our relationships fail and we lose the love we thought would last forever, we try to find the most hurtful, gut busting, heart-wrenching songs to play over and over and over again? It’s like we want to relive the break up every 3-4 minutes through someone else’s story. Or 5 min and 09 secs if your playing it’s Brian McKnight "Kiss Your Love Goodbye” .

I know I’m not the only one who’s laid in an empty bathtub, wearing a pair of the draws he left behind, on a hunger strike, listening to Sade. Belting song lyrics through nonstop sobs, contemplating downing the bottle of bleach arms length away, just so the pain can end. Okay maybe that was just me but you feel what I’m saying.

Then, as if you weren’t already swimming around in an emotional cesspool, one of your friend drops by with a mix of the songs they listened to the last time they had their heart broken like a suicide soundtrack. What they’re basically saying is:

“If you really want to feel like sh*t listen to this. Okay, I’m leaving now and I Ieft a rusty razor right next to you, okay? I’ll check on you tomorrow. Have fun!”

I'm wondering... Do we secretly take pleasure in the pain of heartbreak? Do we listen to these songs because we find comfort in knowing somebody else has had their a** kicked by love? Do we suggest painful songs to friends as a shared experience or is it sweet revenge because we’ve told them “You need to stop messing with that fool,” over a million times but they never wanted to listen? Then they’re calling you at 3 am like “you won’t believe what he/she did,” like you didn’t have work the next day.

Yeah I’ve been there on. Both sides.

So I’m sending this one out to everyone who’s had their heart broken or if you’re going through it right now. My suggestion is get out of those old draws, put some water in that tub and wash away your stale a**. Dig deep and paint on a smile, turn on some feel good music and feel good because life is still beautiful.
(Repost from former Blog for your enjoyment)

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NYC on the LateNight

Last Night (this morning) I found myself in the club Quo (28th and 10th Ave). A cute spot but the dirtiest bathrooms I've ever seen in my life, HANDS DOWN! I hit the bar immediately because the drinks I had earlier were fading fast and I wanted to "stay on the 53rd floor." The bartender comes over, takes my order then proceeds to mix one of the worst drink I've had in a long time. I could tell by the way he nervously tipped the bottle over the glass like he was afraid to pour too much Iiquor which led me to believe the drink would to be worthless. I took a sip and my assumptions were confirmed. The drink was so weak it wouldn't give a infant fetal alcohol syndrome even if you served it to him straight.
So I say to the bartender "I can't taste anything." Then he proceeds to inform me that he could make the drink stronger IF I gave him a tip.  Tip? TIP? First of all, a tip is courtesy from me to you. It's a way to say "thank you for your consideration and going beyond the call of duty. For example, a cab driver getting you to your destination in a timely fashion despite heavy traffic, a bellhop taking your heavy luggage to your room despite the fact elevators are out or a messenger waiting 20 extra minutes while you package up what you want him to deliver. If you're doing your job regular then what you're getting paid covers that. You get tipped when you do your job great just because you showed up to work. That's your job asshole!

SYAU Blagojevich!

Over the past year I've noticed that people have lost the racist filter which helps them filter the disrespectful things they would normally only say around other people of their race. Black people calling White people "Honkies" at the fish fry. White people calling Black people N***as on the golf course (with or without Tiger Woods around). And Middle Easterners talking about everybody right in their face because we don't know what the hell they're saying on that cell phone while we ride along in the back of that cab. These days everybody is saying whatever they want and they don't care who's around to hear. 

Just today, Associated Press reports that ousted Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich (the dude that tried to sell Obama's Senate seat) stated:

"I'm blacker than Barack Obama. I shined shoes. I grew up in a five-room apartment. My father had a little laundromat in a black community not far from where we lived."  
Read Full Article. 

Really? So let me get this straight because he lived in a small apartment, that's supposed to make him black? So is he saying all black people live in sub par conditions because that's what hearing? And he said he shined shoes. So we're supposed to agree that he's black because of this? Why? Because that's the kind of work black people do: shine shoes, open doors, and carry luggage. So black people are servants because that's also what I'm hearing? Now let's explore the final part of his statement: the laundromat in the black community was NOT FAR from your house.  You know what that means. His family didn't live in the hood. His father just set up shop there. Probably with some overprices machines that barely cleaned your clothes and a spin cycle that never really got the water out so you had to use another machine to respin your clothes to get out the access? Then at the end of the day he slammed that metal gate down, locked the 37 locks on the door and burned rubber to the other side. What's next? He's black because he got fired from his job? FYI, ex Governor, all that puts you about as close to being black as me living near Sea World makes me a dolphin.

Someone please tell Blagojevich that nothing about his life makes him black because at the end of the day he's white and he's never in life experienced any the racism, fear and overall contempt that President Obama indured just in the 2 years of campaigning. 

So take you're medication and SYAU (Shut Yo Ass Up) Blagojevich! You'll never be black and you should be happy because if you were you're ass would have been jail mates with Michael Vick, T.I., Lil Wayne and Plaxico Burris for conspiracy to commit mail and wire fraud and solicitation of bribery.

Are You Eff'n Serious?

It’s was another day of surfing the web in search of the latest headlines, horoscopes and words of encouragement, when I came across what sparked the title of today’s entry that I will be incorporating into my Blog in the future. It’s a lil something I’d like to call:

Are you Eff’n Serious? 
Michael Jackson Memorial nominated for Outstanding Variety Television award by NAACP Image Awards 

Foreal, how did this happen? Was one of the mentally impaired people that every company is required to hire, given the opportunity to choose a winner for this category (also apart of the equal opportunity requirements)? Or maybe it was a big snowstorm and the only person in the building was the janitor who had not quite gotten his GED yet, and the nominations had to go out right that moment leaving the task in his hands and unfortunately he didn’t know that Memorial is another word for Funeral. As in Loss. As in Eye on the Sparrow.

Now, I understand that we are seriously under represented on TV but it’s hard for me to believe there was nothing else to nominate? No Celebrity Comedy Roast? Old Sold Train episodes? Hell, I would have been okay with a high school talent show that aired on some Public Access channel. Not a damn funeral! FYI, that big shiny box they had up front wasn’t a podium for a midget, Michael Jackson was in there!

To be fair I can see how they could have been confused especially with Usher’s “emotional” rendition of “Gone To Soon” which he ended by snatching of his sunglasses and reaching for the casket like it was suddenly rolling away. Then there was the dramatic Usher/Jackson family hug, and who can forget Usher burying his head in Kathryn Jackson’s lap like he was a contestant in a pie-eating contest. You know what, now that I think about it, I’m taking everything I said back. This whole thing is Usher’s fault.

Seriously though, this nomination was a horrible call by the NAACP and if this is the kind of decision making going on over there it's not wonder black people never got reparations. I'm just saying NAACP, in the future if you find yourself grabbing at straws over who to give an Image Award to just remember, you can always give it to me.

Why?

We all talking about what's wrong with the kids: They're over sexed from the TV, the music, the steroids in the food is making their hormones rage. Well clearly none of that is the issue the problem is us. The Adults because some adult gave the green light to this performance and judging by the faces of the little boys in the crowd there's going to be a lot of dirt towels and socks in the laundry basket later.

Finally!

Today while surfing around the web looking for new ignorance to talk about, I stumbled across the story of Mrs. Iris Robinson the wife of Ireland's senior most politician who recently cheated on her husband. In the last 5 years it seems we've been inundated with stories of cheating husbands: Kobe Bryant and the anal violation, Governor Elliot Spitzer and the hooker ring, Senator McGreevy and his boy toy, John Edwards and his love child, and most recently Tiger Woods and his harem of hoes.
But for me what's worse than hearing the stories is watching the press conference where the wife stands next to the husband as he delivers a stilted address of his mistakes and how sorry he is when we all know he wasn't sorry when he was waxing all that #@$!
So it was refreshing to finally see a man in this reverse role. Check out Mr. Robinson as he is interviewed about his wife's affair and why he decided to stay. That's right fellas women are getting it poppin too. So let's all get out press conference speeches ready.

Nodding in Confusion

Excuse my lateness on this (I don't have cable) but I'm sooooo feeling Jay-Z's new video "On the The Next." Unfortunately, I don't know what any of the images have to do with the song besides maybe the burning basketballs but I'm giving him 10 cool points for excluding 33 half butt naked stripper chicks forcing me to watch ass throughout the song.

Check it out and tell me what you think.

5 Reasons Why I Don’t Date Fat Men.

I’m sure someone will read the title of this blog and say “That is so mean. I can’t believe she would say something like that! Hadiyah you wrong!” Well I said it and I’m not apologizing because it needs to be said. There’s an obsession with weight and men are in no way affected by it. To be a fat man in this country is completely okay. Fat guys are funny, they get women that are completely out of their league (According to Jim, King of Queens) and they are even rich rappers that all the women want (Rick Ross, Fat Joe and Notorious B.I.G. - God Bless the dead) and I think it’s because of all these examples fat men everywhere think they have it going on. FYI sweety, that walk is not Swaggar that’s unbalanced pressure on your knees and ankles. 

Things have got to change and I'm taking a stand against the madness. I remember once this fat dude I know asked me what happened after he noticed I had picked up a few pounds. And it wasn't even out of concern like "Is everything okay?" No it was audacious like "Dayum girl, you slippin." Meanwhile he was standing there with the Octomom's third trimester stomach. Not to mention the many times I've gotten an offer from some big, circular shaped, mass of flesh complete with the head nod and wink like he’s doing me a favor. BEAT IT! If you are a fat man you CAN NOT have my phone number. HELL NAW. My apartment keeps good heat so I don't need fogging up the windows with all that body heat.

I mean really, why are men fat anyway. Think about it they don’t have hormonal issues, water retention, and they don't have babies. So again I ask, WHY ARE MEN FAT? I'm sure most of you have never thought of it but lucky for you I've discovered that fat on a man says a lot about what kind of man he is and here are THE 5 REASONS I DON’T DATE FAT BOYZ:

1.   If a man is fat HE IS LAZY. Fact: A man's metabolism is 5-10% faster than a woman's so he's already at an advantage. A man can take to the court with his boys, run a few games of basketball, tennis, soccer, etc., come home and have a six pack of abs. Maybe it's not that easy but it's close. So if he can’t do this for himself I can't depend on him to go out of his way for anything that I want or need. “Baby the car broke down, I'm stranded on the side of the road. I need you to come get me and the kids.” After a long paused, some involuntary heavy breathing and a sigh of irritation I’m sure I’d hear “Why don’t you try to flag someone down. I’m sure a good Samaritan will pick you up. I’ll stay on the phone with you until then.” Anything that takes energy he’s probably not going to do it.

2.   If a man is fat that HE HAS NO CONTROL. He’s going to eat any and everything he wants all the time. Which means if I’m not around and he sees a woman he likes…need I say more? I can’t trust this man because I know that his appetite is the only thing that truly matters to him.

3.   If a man is fat and his excuse is "I'm an emotional eater," HE'S GOT FEMININE TENDANCIES aka BITCH. Science tells us that women are emotional and men are critical. Women deal in fantasy and men in hard facts. So if he’s sitting around eating Häagen-Dazs®, watching Grey’s Anatomy, crying like he's got PMS, my period is probably going to start because there’s an overload of estrogen in the room.   

4.   If a man is fat HE'S NOT HEALTH CONSCIOUS. Diabetes, High Blood are serious diseases that can take you off the earth and he may be suffering from these diseases and never even know it because he hasn't been to the doctor. Beyond that he may even have a few sexually transmitted diseases lying dormant in his system waiting to pass on. (FYI…every man should be tested cause some are not as sexually contentious as they should be but that’s another blog) Bottom line is I could wake up with a bubbling mass of skin and smelly discharge because he thought it was just a regular bump.

5.   Finally, if a man is fat that means quite frankly HE'S FAT and that shit is not sexy! Stretchmarks on his ass, hotdog rolls on the back of his neck, the space where his pecs should be there are supple Christmas ornament shaped boobs. Then below the belt his package is hiding under his moon shaped belly shading the goodies from the sun which is keeping them cold and therefore not at their maximum potential. COLD + PACKAGE = SAD

In closing, I wrote this blog not to be mean nor to be insensitive but to call attention to the double standard that exists between men and women when it comes to weight. There's a ridiculous amount of pressure only on women when we all should be trying to be our best selves and live as healthy as possible. So fellas get it together.

Enough!

Don’t get me wrong I totally get it. Kanye West was a drunken idiot who crashed the VMA stage and stole Taylor Swift’s moment of glory and with the rest of the world I fumed and cursed him for being a bully to this sweet young girl. But how long are we going to have to sit by and watch her accept awards that when we're really honest with ourselves, she doesn’t deserve. Last night she nabbed the People’s Choice Award for ‘Female Artist of the Year’, in 2009 the Country Music Awards ‘Album of the Year’ and 5 American Music Awards including ‘Album of the Year’ over the greatest entertainer of our lifetime Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson people. An artist whose music is known all over the world and will live on for years to come and who had just tragically died. Album of the Year? Really? Hell most of the people I know can’t sing along to one song on a Taylor Swift album meanwhile Osama Bin Ladin is probably throwing Michael Jackson cave parties. Look, I’m not trying to sound like a hater nor downplay her accomplishments. Taylor Swift do your thing. I’m simply saying, “Enough!”